I had a week that challenged parts of me that I had forgotten existed. The hits started in a remote part of Mexico and stayed with me for days upon my return home.
Every time I turned around, took a breath, blinked — another jarring lesson. They ranged in intensity — from the momentarily uncomfortable (and easily fixable) to heartbreaking and breathtaking in their severity and scope (leaving me at times wondering how to function in the world at all).
Wave after wave they came.
One wave — a literal one that crashed not long after I snapped the pic above — hit so hard it swept me and my phone off my feet and into the sea! A swift salt-water baptism to start the new year that luckily hurt nothing but my phone. More on that later.
Back to the waves of lessons... I can’t even count how many times I asked the universe, “WHAT?!?? Excuse me, but WTF?!” as the week progressed. I had to work hard to quiet my mind enough to hear the answers. Some I heard, some I’m still unclear about. But here I am, keeping at the going.
Keep going.
Whatever (or whoever) you are challenged by, know that you are not alone. Know that I see you, know that I feel you, know that I know you. Know that even your so-called “healers” are very human in their struggles, too. (You want this; it's what makes us the good helpers that we are.)
Now I’d like to remind you (and myself!) that Earth School is not for wimps. Rather, we came here because we are the bravest of the brave. We can do this. In fact, we came here precisely to do this. So, let's choose to prevail.
And I truly believe — in fact, I know — that every lesson is for us. Everything is for us to learn and grow. (Granted, sometimes that proposition feels super shitty… It did to me a few times this week when I reminded myself of it. But, it’s true.) Let’s learn and grow and rise and thrive together, please.
In the midst of this week's chaos and seeking help for my soggy phone, I found myself in a mall Apple store — the most unexpected place to receive the most needed guidance from the most unexpected messenger… But if/when you are listening, the Universe can and will get through to you. Always.
At the Apple store, Abdul* worked with me to restore a mess of communication tech issues. He spent over an hour with me doing things above and outside of his pay grade and job description to restore my many fractured links to the digital world — all without me asking or pleading or insisting. He just helped me with a kind, patient, and generous spirit — and it was beautiful.
At the end of our time together, we got to talking about meaningful things. His lifelong dream is to work in mechanical engineering. My husband just happens to head a mechanical engineering firm. I shared his contact info with Abdul via scribbled digits in the white space of my own business card. Abdul then read the text of my business card and asked me a few questions about what I do in the world. And then we wrapped up our time together. Or so I thought.
As I grabbed my purse and turned to leave the store, he stopped me.
“One more thing, before you go, please can I ask you a question? I’m only 19, so I know nothing about life. And I’m thinking you know a lot about life given your job, so maybe you can help me?”
I chuckled (if he only knew how clueless I felt all week!) and said, “I’ll sure try. Anything for you, given all the help you gave me.”
“What about regret — at the end?,” Abdul asked. “What do you tell people to do with regret? One word.”
“I have two words: Express it.”
“Get it out. Get everything out,” I said. “Say what you need to say, feel what you need to feel, hold nothing back, deny yourself no opportunity to be fully you. About regret or anything else. At the end of life or any time of life.”
“Get it out. Then, let it go.”
I went on.
"This is probably the most important part of the whole equation: Let it go. Hold onto ZERO of it. Because your dying loved ones will not hold onto it on the other side. They will harbor no resentment, regret of their own, remorse, ill will, pity… Nothing negative. They just will not. So you shouldn’t either. Once they cross, they are instantly free of these things, these human constructs, And that really is all they are — creations of our making. They do NOT exist otherwise. On the other side, we are free of all of this."
"Not only do your passed loved ones not hold these feelings, they don’t want you to either. They want you to be free of anything and everything that weighs down your spirit, burdens your soul, dims your light."
"Also, no matter what age you are, you know everything about life that you need to know about life. It’s all within you. Within your heart. Go there and get the answers. That’s your pharmacy, the house of all the medicine for whatever ails you — and by extension, humanity and planet."
With a smile and a hushed tone he said, “So there is another side? Really? 'The other side.' I love to hear that. That’s big.”
"It is. It's big. It's real, and it's beautiful."
As I walked away, it struck me that all the advice I had just let flow — maybe it was for me, too? Just as much — if not more — than it was for Abdul?
Yep, it was all for me. From me. From my heart.
Funny how the universe works… The powerful wave that took my breath (and phone) away helped me remember the power of my own voice — and that this voice is all I truly need. All of this via Abdul at Apple.
What a wild ride we're on together, on this crazy beautiful planet.
Listen to your heart in 2024. The rest is noise; tune it out. I’m right here with you, doing the same.
Love,
Amy
*Abdul: An Arabic boy's name meaning servant of God, messenger of the merciful.
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