FAQ

"What is a death doula?"

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The definition of death doula, a.k.a. end-of-life doula, is different for everyone who claims the title. I can tell you what the role means to me. (Sidebar: I don’t like the title. Like, at all. I think it’s kind of awkward and reductive, but it’s the best I can do — for now, at least. I’m always brainstorming…)

 

I am a compassionate, skilled guide here to help the dying and/or their circle of support navigate this most sacred time of life.

 

My skillset is sourced from both personal and professional experience with dying and death and a significant amount of research and study. I am always reading books, taking courses, and attending talks and workshops that broaden my understandings and offerings. In addition, prior to hanging a shingle as a death doula, I obtained certifications from multiple training programs that help me conventionally present myself as a expert in this arena. 

 

I have to admit, the best education for my role has and will always be my personal and professional experiences with dying and death. My loved ones and clients teach me the most and, in turn, enrich my future clients’ experiences. It’s a beautiful progression.

 

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"That’s nice, but what is it that you actually do? How can you help me?"

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Just like each person on the planet has a birth story unique to them, so too does each person have a death story uniquely their own. So it is difficult (impossible?) to list here all that I have done and can do — especially considering that my services are entirely personal to the client. But here are some concrete examples of how I have helped clients in the past:

 

• Coordinating and supporting a client’s move from a hospital to in-home hospice

• Conversely, coordinating and supporting a client’s move from home to a hospice house

• Providing real-time coaching and assistance during the end-of life phase via in-person visits, phone calls, FaceTime, and/or texting

• Enhancing the end-of-life phase with holistic offerings that enable greater ease, comfort, and peace

• Hosting family meetings about what to expect during a loved one’s final weeks, days, hours, and minutes

• Consulting on green burial choices and rights; educating clients about options and empowering them to choose with their hearts

• Helping families to explore the choices available to them as they work with their loved ones remains (from either flame or water cremation specifically)

• Offering shamanic death rites — to actively dying, recently deceased, and long-departed loved ones (there is no “time limit” for these)

 

I am also a medium, which means I can communicate across the veil. I have served as a medium in many clients’ dying processes (at their request and with their permission). I have communicated for dying loved ones unable to speak due to advanced disease, intubation, or coma. Critically ill clients have asked me who will greet them when they cross; I am able to tell them and relay related messages, bringing tremendous comfort and support. I have also assisted clients who are struggling to release from their human form. By working at a soul level with them, I can help them relax more peacefully into the process.

 

A huge part of my service is in education. I often lead small-group talks and workshops on dying and death, and I have served many times as a keynote speaker at events like hospice staff trainings and end-of-life professional development workshops.

 

 

"Amazing! But, I have no idea what to do next."

 

I highly recommend subscribing to my newsletter for timely updates on offerings, nuggets of wisdom, and occasional musings about dying, death, and beyond.

 

I have two recorded talks that give you 24/7 access to support:

• “Walking Each Other Home” summarizes my best practices for caring for the whole human at end of life. This is a great talk for the loved ones and caregivers of humans who have just received a hospice referral or are already engaged with hospice (in a facility or at home) but understand they need more support (which is always the case).

• “Going Green” is a survey-level look at how we can (and why we should) make more sustainable choices with our remains. I cover conventional burial options, flame cremation, water cremation (i.e., aquamation), and related topics that are absolutely worth knowing if you are environmentally minded and wish to make responsible, sustainable choices with your or your loved one’s remains.

 

I offer online and in-person small-group classes and talks.

 

I offer one-on-one appointments, both in-person and via Zoom.

 

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"How do I make an appointment with you?"

 

If you would like to work with me as your or your loved one’s death doula, please visit my Sessions page and fill out the appointment request form. Same goes for any one-on-one appointments — mediumship, death rites, and doula mentoring. That form is the best place to start.

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"Are you always with your clients when they die?"

 

I educate, support, and guide clients according to their needs and wants. Sometimes, they need and/or want me to be present at the time of crossing. When this is possible, I am honored to serve this way and consider it a profoundly beautiful blessing and great privilege.

 

“You must be sad all the time.” 

“Isn’t what you do so depressing?”

“It must be so hard to be around death as much as you are.”

 

I do not experience any part of my service as a death doula as sad. Or depressing, or scary, or intimidating. In fact, I find it inspiring and invigorating — and deeply satisfying — to help my clients connect with greater comfort and peace. I have had jobs, for instance in corporate communications and marketing, that are truly “depressing.” Serving others in dying and death has been one of the greatest joys of my life because I get to help people from and with my heart. There is nothing “hard” about that. Zero.